Written by Katelind Biccum
“I’ll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror/it must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero.” -Taylor Swift
You may have heard the phrase, “We are our own worst critic.” I can attest to this sentiment, letting my inner critic wreak havoc over my life. “Do this better! Do that better! You have to be perfect, or no one will take you seriously. Why would anyone listen to what you have to say?” I have often caught myself in these negative, spiraling thought patterns. We all have our own demons to fight; I have far from slain all mine. Despite these self-defeating thoughts, I still show up daily to support those around me. I refuse to give these thoughts all-consuming power over me.
I’m sure you’re wondering how I can silence my inner critic. It doesn’t happen overnight, but you can take small steps toward reassuring the internal critique you can survive without its overarching influence. Deep down, your inner critic is trying to protect you from failure, from various vulnerabilities held within you. The inner critic is a part of you, not your entire identity. Over time, you can learn to separate or unblend these parts of yourself. We must also honour these parts because they developed as a protective force when you couldn’t protect yourself.
This is where self-compassion comes in. If your inner critic is a hardened warrior, then self-compassion shows up as a mystical creature to heal oneself. Self-compassion can be defined as turning compassion inward. To be compassionate is to understand our impact on others, choosing to be gracious rather than malicious. I encourage you to give yourself grace when you make a mistake and allow yourself to fail without fear of judgment. Instead of leading from guilt or shame, open yourself up to leading from compassion and empathy. Self-compassion can be your superpower; you have to give yourself permission.
Living a life full of self-compassion can transform your perspective, offering unique experiences that have been closed off. For example, what if you give yourself permission to speak kindly to yourself? Interestingly, if we speak kindly to plants, they will grow and thrive. Imagine the effect talking kindly to yourself can create. If any of this resonates with you, please reach out and explore these ideas with me.
~ Katelind
For more information on how to connect with Katelind,
Call 613-701-7574 or email us at info@ksrc.ca
