Written by Katie Kassidy, RP
Has your partner given you an ultimatum, and forced you to go to therapy? Have you reached a place in your relationship and have been begging your significant other to get help, but they refuse? This is a common issue, and an important subject to discuss, as the results may not be what you expect.
With the experience and guidance from your therapist, the responsibility to repair and heal your relationship is yours and your partners, not the therapist. The therapist will offer tools to help repair your relationship, but those tools risk not being used if both partners are not willing. Both you and your partner need to be open and willing to want to fix it-this does not typically occur when one is forced. Further, when someone is forced to go, therapy is then viewed as a punishment, instead of a resource or ally!
So you’ve been forced into therapy, now what?
Try to change your perspective and turn the experience into a resource, rather than a punishment. Remind yourself that the person who is forcing you to go to therapy is most likely doing it from a place of love and care. If they did not want to keep going in the relationship with you, they most likely would not be making the request. Reminding yourself that you are worth it and you deserve to be the best that you can be, for yourself and for your family. Knowing that although going to therapy may be scary and new for you, that ultimately it will hopefully be a great resource in repairing yourself as well as your relationship.
We are responsible for ourselves.
Before giving your partner an ultimatum, remember that ultimately you are not responsible for changing anyone else. We are responsible for ourselves. Although this can be scary to accept, it is also empowering to realize that your change is in your own hands!
To connect with one of our counsellors, call 613-701-7574 or email us at info@ksrc.ca
