Are you feeling lonely?

By Meagan Cumming, MA, RP, RYT and Shulamit Ber Levtov, MA, RSW, CCTP

Social distancing, self-isolation, and quarantine are varying degrees of strategies you–and all of us–are using on a global scale to slow the spread of COVID-19 and protect our most vulnerable community members.

While on the one hand you’re telling yourself these measures are meant to keep everyone safe, you’re probably also experiencing a variety of emotions about them. And that’s OK.

You’re allowed…

You’re allowed to be frustrated that special events have been canceled.

It’s OK to feel sad that you can’t see friends and family.

Maybe you’re also scared about the uncertainty of when this will end.

All these feelings and more are OK. There’s nothing wrong with you or bad about you.

These feelings make you a human being, reacting in a way that makes sense in an unprecedented pandemic!

These are normal reactions to an abnormal situation.

You’re also allowed to be struggling with the isolation. Human beings are social creatures, and it is a fundamental human need that must be met. When it is unmet, you can experience a variety of negative effects, both mental and physical.

You might find yourself feeling achey, tired, down (or conversely wound up), anxious or depressed. You might notice changes in your sleep cycle. You might have difficulty concentrating, or you might struggle to take in new information.

This is all normal.

To help you process your emotions and combat the isolation, it’s important to continue to connect with others.

This is a call to your creative side. Brainstorm all the new ways you can connect.

Birthday drive-by parades are one example.

Driveway visits are another.

Of course, whatever you choose should take into account what is recommended by your local authorities and public health.

Here are some more suggestions to stimulate your brainstorming.

Text, Call, or Video Chat with Loved Ones

We have a variety of technologies available to help us connect to the ones we love. Use the modality that makes sense for you and whoever you’re talking to.

Play games or sing online

Find ways to adapt games to playing them online. You could use a video call and both set up game boards, so that each side can mimic what the other is doing right in front of them. Use powerpoint to create a trivia quiz and use a screenshare/video app to play it with others.

Organize a family or friends sing-along, or join in on some public ones. Toronto’s Choir Choir Choir is a great example. Here’s their Faceboook page where you can find all the details. And you don’t have to be able to sing to sing along at home and have fun.

Go for a Walk

Get outside and get your body moving! Meet up with one or two friends, maintain the 2 meters of recommended distance, and enjoy the added benefits of sunshine and fresh air.

As a bonus, movement helps counter the trauma-related collapse response. Moving reminds your body and mind that you are alive and OK, and the more messages like that we can give ourselves, the better.

Check-In With a Neighbour

Whether it’s the next balcony or driveway over, see how your neighbours are doing; a friendly chat or even just a smile and a wave can serve as some much-needed human interaction.

Get Involved

Reach out to local charities or organizations and see how you can support your community.

This can help remind you that you are connected to the people around you, and that you can be a part of making a difference and putting some positivity into the world.

These are just a few ideas, and maybe you’ll come up with new ones of your own!

Set up connection time now

Whatever you decide, I invite you to schedule regular connection times to create a habit and follow through on them, whether you’re in a good or bad mood in that moment.

If you wait until you’re really struggling, it can sometimes be very difficult to reach out. Making connection a part of your routine ensures that it’s already there for you.

Reach out

If you’re feeling overwhelmed and aren’t sure the people you usually talk to have the capacity right now to hold space for you, please consider connecting with one of our counsellors. We’re offering phone and video sessions to make sure you get the support you need during this stressful time.