Written by Lindsay Abrames, MA, RP
“trauma is a chronic disruption of connection”
The polyvagal theory emphasizes safety, connection, and social engagement. I am often mindful of the idea that “trauma is a chronic disruption of connection” (Porges, 2017) and what this means for healing and post-traumatic growth. This quote highlights the profound impact that chronic stress and traumatic experiences can have on forming and maintaining healthy relationships with oneself, others, and the world. At its core, trauma refers to overwhelming and distressing experiences that exceed a person’s ability to cope effectively. Whether one has had an unsafe past or experiences an unsafe present, there can be lasting and persistent effects on the nervous system and our sense of connectedness.
Most notably, trauma disconnects one from their emotions, thoughts, and body making it difficult to understand and regulate one’s own internal experiences. Nervous system dysregulation occurs when becoming stuck in a survival loop between states of sympathetic mobilization (fight-flight) and immobilization (dorsal vagal) which can be accompanied by dissociation. A cycle of disconnect – activated distress – disconnect is created when there is a sense of constant threat and limited access to internal (i.e., self-soothing) and external resources (environmental safety, support system) to cope (Dana, 2020). A chronically dysregulated nervous system may also influence physical discomfort (i.e., digestive issues, inflammation, pain) and the occurrence of chronic health conditions.
Secondly, trauma (especially relational and developmental in nature) can affect the trust and security that are fundamental to healthy connections. Perhaps co-regulating others have been unavailable or unpredictable, limiting opportunities to build safe connections. When the human need for connection feels unsafe, it may be replaced by patterns of self-protection (i.e., avoidance, fawning) which can be difficult to turn off. Survivors of trauma may struggle with feelings of fear, hypervigilance, or an intense desire to avoid specific reminders of the trauma. These reactions can make it challenging to engage in close, meaningful relationships, leading to a sense of isolation and loneliness.
Furthermore, trauma can disrupt connections on a larger scale by fracturing social support networks and a separation from larger groups in the case of discrimination. Individuals may become disconnected from their families, friends, or communities. The stigma and misunderstanding surrounding trauma are invalidating responses from others that further exacerbate a sense of detachment.
A personal example (and cautionary tale of renting scooters in a foreign country!) in PVT language to highlight the intricate relationship between body, stress, and trauma: In my early 20’s I was in an accident while travelling through Southeast Asia. While waiting for help to arrive, I was in a state of shock (freeze response) and then immobilization in which pain- numbing endorphins were released. I experienced a state of confusion, disorientation, and my memory of this time is hazy. The body goes to great lengths to keep one safe and alive in the world! It was not until I saw the extent of injuries for myself and my friend that my nervous system became activated into a state of uncertainty and fear (sympathetic fight-flight). This heightened state of arousal and hypervigilance continued intermittently upon returning home for months afterward. I had a sense of being on-edge and startled, especially when it came to driving. This persistent state of fight-flight took a toll on the body which resulted in muscle tension, headaches, and affected my sleep. I experienced occasional insomnia and extreme fatigue which worsened my physical tension and emotional depletion. My digestion was also impacted (stomach aches, nausea, loss of appetite) as energy was diverted away from normal digestion and immune system functioning and toward maintaining a state of being on-guard to prevent further injury. I was further disconnected because I avoided driving temporarily and could not participate in my usual physical exercise or walk without pain. My initial emotional response was faulting myself for the accident and ruining the trip which resulted in feelings of depression (dorsal vagal shut-down). In favour of self-protection, I limited contact with friends to avoid talking about my “failed” trip. Overall, it was an isolating experience that improved through time and safely re-connecting.
Recognizing trauma as a chronic disruption of connection emphasizes the importance of addressing underlying disconnections in the healing process. Therapy and other co-regulating relationships can help rebuild a sense of safety and re-connection with emotions and bodily sensations. There is significance in co-creating a space of trust, empathy, and attunement where individuals can feel validated through compassionate understanding of their stressors and traumatic experiences. In therapy, we might also intentionally resource the people, groups, and experiences that intuitively make you feel safe and connected. This may be nature, dancing, yoga, music, writing, gardening, art, pets, breathwork, use of comfort items, orienting the senses, and opportunities for social connection/laughter/playfulness.
If you would like to explore more about the nervous system and re-building connections amidst chronic stress and trauma, please reach out.
~Lindsay
To connect with Lindsay or any one of our counsellors,
613-701-7574, info@ksrc.ca or explore our website to see who you connect to.
Additional Resource:
Trauma and the nervous system: A polyvagal perspective (Polyvagal Institute)
https://www.polyvagalinstitute.org/copy-of-pv-podcasts-videos
References:
Dana, D. (2020). Polyvagal theory flip chart: Understanding the science of safety. New York, London: W. W. Norton & Company Ltd.
Porges, S. (2017). The pocket guide to the polyvagal theory: The transformative power of feeling safe. New York: Norton.
