By Chuck LeBlanc

This past weekend marked one full year since my dear friend passed away by suicide. In the last blog post I talked about the storm that raged inside me when I heard the news and how I was overcome with grief, guilt, anger, sadness and a whole host of other emotions that took a very long time to settle.  As I look back on this year, I can see how I think about them every single day. The sadness and shock that I feel still runs deep but I am far less angry and feel far less guilty now.

The process of grief takes time. The amount of time it takes is different from person to person and can sometimes be intensified by the love we had for them. But as I mentioned in last year’s blog post the process of grief is an attempt by our whole being to orient ourselves to this tragic loss. Our mind and body are working hard to try and not only makes sense of the loss itself, but also trying to make sense of living in a world where this loved one is no longer around.

Although part of this grieving process involves feeling the feelings that are trying to show themselves, another part of it is finding a community to grieve with. Grief, like sadness, asks us to come together to shoulder the heaviness of the feelings that are pouring out. When we grieve alone our minds can become a kind of echo chamber that bounces tragic ideas back and forth with no possible exit.

In my life I feel so uncomfortable grieving, showing, and sharing these types of emotions that I am often locked inside my head. But last year the grief was so powerful that I had to take the steps to open up. I opened up through my own therapy which gave me the space to get everything out on the table and really feel, and think through it in a safe space. I also practiced grieving with my partner which gave me a shoulder to cry on and a willing participant who coached me on as a vented and raved at the injustice of the world.

Grieving the loss of someone who has died from suicide is incredibly tragic, shocking, confusing, and painful, which is all the more reason to share your grief and seek companionship as the storm rages inside of you.  My point in creating today’s blog piece was to share with you the difficulties I had with grieving while expressing the importance of the process. Mainly because I feel it is important to know you are not alone in your grief and that calling on your community to help you process is often one of the most powerful things you can do.

Reach out, I can help.

~ Chuck LeBlanc

To connect with Chuck or any one of our counsellors,
613-701-7574, info@ksrc.ca or explore our website to see who you connect to.