Moms Unscripted!

An exploration of how to transform your experience of motherhood

Part 5

Written by Shannon Sweeting-Woods, MSW, RSW

Welcome to Part 5 of our exploration of scripts in motherhood.

After working through Part 4 hopefully you are feeling more confidence in writing your scripts. It is a play you write in which you hold the leading role after all. You may have assessed by now that the offerings to yourself and others of rewriting or discarding script(s) you have been handed outweigh the costs. There is a reason stories told from the perspective of others have become popular performances; like the tale of how the Wicked Witch of the West came to be so ‘Wicked’. We often love an alternative perspective on the same story.

In this final part of the series, we consider:

Would there be a rewrite of this script that would be more useful to me?

We might all have a different rewrite for “I am a mom so I am supposed to be able to handle it.” It will be informed by each of our values and authentic selves. As you experiment with your new script, I invite you to notice how your body responds to you saying the words aloud. You might notice feelings of warmth, flow, or alignment, signaling that you have found the right words.

 

Try it out with me:

“I am a capable mother with the freedom to choose what I wish to handle”

How did that one feel?

“I am a capable mother with my own unique identity; when I show up as me, we all benefit.”

Or that one?

“Raising children is a collective process that is enriching for all involved”

What did you notice?

 

In witnessing mom’s rewrite scripts their inner wisdom inevitably emerges. When you find the words that make you feel like you want to step out onto that stage, you will know it. Trust this knowing. Your children, partner, family members, friends, and all other mothers are enriched when they get to experience what feels true for you; when they get to experience who you are.

When you have your words you are ready to anchor them in. We can do this by asking ourselves the question:

What would this rewrite make possible for myself and others?

Your possibilities will be based on the rewrite you have chosen, and will be yours. Together we can only imagine some of the possibilities for those who are relevant in our lives, starting with ourselves.

How about the possibility that we can choose what jars we have, and what/how much we invest into each one? Might the identity we claim as a mother and the role we assume matter, only as we define it? We might experience greater clarity in our choices; and even increased productivity taking on what feels purposeful for us. And what about the possibility that our worth is not contingent on what we handle? Could it be possible that you are enough as you are; that you have a sense of inherent worth?

Our partner or co-parent might find possibility in the opportunity to bond with their child(ren) in new ways, leading to greater fulfillment. For some, this could be a new opportunity to consider and create their preferred identity as a parent; their preferred relationship with their child(ren). Partnerships that allow for each individual to step into their preferred identity and be accepted for their authentic selves lead to increased relationship satisfaction. We might in turn transform a sense of depletion to a sense of energy from relationships.

 

And how about these kids? Is it possible they will have a parent(s) who is/are present, balanced, and fulfilled? What might they learn about motherhood by witnessing the way you write and/or claim the scripts that align for you? What different skills and capacities might be possible for them to build in light of your new script?

And once again my own favourite possibilities to consider: the possibilities for other mothers and motherhood. Writing our own scripts and/or going unscripted does not go unnoticed. You have probably seen it yourself, mothers living out different scripts than what we are handed. What do you feel? It can be a complex experience given the strength of the pillars we explored in Part 2.

But the words I hear most:

Permission.

Permission to other mothers to do the same; to be themselves; to turn towards their experiences with kindness and compassion; to show up.

Freedom.

Freedom to makes choices; to define one’s own experience; to live a life aligned with one’s preferred identity.

Transformation.

Transformation of our individual and collective experience of motherhood.

 

Please join us if you haven’t had a chance to read Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, and Part 4.

We are here to help you start the conversation.
To connect with one of our counsellors, call 613-701-7574 or email us at info@ksrc.ca