Contributed by Katie Cassidy, MA, RP

Being stuck in the house during COVID is stressful enough, but being stuck in the house while being in a marriage that is going through a rut is extra difficult.

What can we do to get through it?

Human nature makes us good at distracting ourselves when it comes to feeling uncomfortable feelings.  We go to work every day, we get groceries, we take the kids to their activities and scroll through Netflix and Facebook.

The business of everyday life makes it easy to not face our problems head on, but this means that those problems will not go away.

Taking this time to work on your relationship–like you keep saying you wish you had time to do (you probably have been saying this for years) –is a great opportunity.

Here are some suggestions.

Have those tough conversations you keep avoiding because it hurts or it is uncomfortable.  Ask those hard questions.  If we do not address what the problem really is, how can we begin to resolve the elephant in the room?

Listen to the answers your partner gives with full attention and no judgement, instead of planning your defence.  Listen to your partner as if they were a friend confiding in you. Just as you would allow your friend to finish expressing how they feel, extend the same to your partner.

Take care of yourself so that you have more compassion and patience for your partner.  This also means helping each other make time for this self-care.  This may look like taking the kids even when you are tired so that your partner can have some time to recharge.

Remember, you are a team. Keeping tabs on how much time each partner has had will not get you anywhere!

Remember that it will not be fixed overnight, especially if years of resentments have grown!  Be patient and gentle. These things take time.

Sometimes these are easier said than done. Reaching out to a couples therapist can really help you and your partner during this time with the above-mentioned ideas.

Our services are available virtually.

To learn more or to book an appointment, call 613-868-9642 or email us at info@compassionatesupport.ca