Written by Michelle Sparling-Bodechon, RP (Qualifying)
Many people ask me why I have decided to build a career as a psychotherapist. The simplest explanation is, I like to help others feel good about themselves. The truth is, I was not always as kind as I am today. Like many people, I struggled with negativity, shame and self-loathing. As I grew older, it seems my heart grew in size (Kind of like the Grinch). I was finally able to see how much pain was in this world and I no longer wanted to feed that pain. As I learned how to love myself, I developed a need to help others value themselves as well.
What clients appreciate about me is my authenticity; my ability to be open and honest with them always. My lived experience has shaped me to approach clients with genuine care and positive regard, even when clients can’t see the positives in themselves. Often problems become so prevalent, that people entangle the problem with their personality. For example, they say “I am an angry person” or “I’m a coward”. The language we use makes it sound as though the problem is within ourselves. I challenge that belief- the problem is not within ourselves, the problem is within our environment. We are simply reacting to the problem in the best way we know how.
My lived experience has shaped me to approach clients with genuine care and positive regard, even when clients can’t see the positives in themselves.
When problems such as anger, fear, depression or anxiety enter our environment, things change. We engage in behaviours we are not proud of. We fight, cry, put ourselves down, and miss out on opportunities to be happy. You see what I am getting at? It helps to NAME these emotional tormentors… That’s right, they are TORMENTORS! Some of my favourite tormentors are the Anger Gremlin, the Fear Phantom, the Anxiety Moth, and the Depression Demon. Each time one of these creatures comes to visit we can feel it in our bodies- something is wrong. When we can finally see the true motives these creatures have for visiting us, we have a chance to fight back! We can take back our power.
I defeated my own Anger Gremlin years ago. It no longer runs the show. In fact, I haven’t visited its grave in years. As an honest person, I admit that I still experience Anxiety Moths, but I can pull out my moth repellant much quicker now… The Depression Demon and Fear Phantom try to stop in when they are in town but I can now kick them out once they have over stayed their welcome. Sometimes I don’t even let them in my house because they are such a pain. I hope you can see that we all have these creatures that show up and try to control us. We have all done things we are not proud of. I blame the creatures.
In closing, I want to congratulate you for taking the brave leap of recognizing these creatures exist. They are big and scary, but as a therapist I am here to help people regain control of them so that they can see the good person they genuinely are beneath all the hurt and shame (even if they might not see it yet).
Warmly,
Michelle
To connect with Michelle or any one of our counsellors, call 613-701-7574 or email us at info@ksrc.ca
