Written by Katelind Biccum

“Let go of who you think you’re supposed to be; embrace who you are.”
-Brené Brown

The holidays bring on numerous exciting moments: decorating your home, holiday baking, spending time with loved ones, and the promise of a new year on the horizon. However, the holidays can often stir up complicated feelings, such as embarrassment, grief, guilt, shame, and worry. For individuals struggling with disordered eating patterns, this time of year can feel like a warzone, with each comment about their body image exploding shrapnel everywhere. I have become all too familiar with statements, such as

“That will go straight to your hips,”
“Why don’t you take more vegetables instead of bread?”
or my all-time favourite,
“I don’t need a roll, I have enough of those!”

I am sure that there are countless other examples of how family and friends ascribe moral value to our foods. Take a moment and think about the last time you referred to food as good or bad. What about these foods require you to place that label upon them? How can you distinguish whether food is “good” or “bad?” Society and diet culture have conditioned us to place these labels on food rather than merely viewing food as fuel for our bodies. Hunger is a physiological need for humanity; we require food to function so our brains work and our bodies are sustained.

As someone who struggles with their body image and relationship to food, I understand how challenging it can be to encounter this harmful rhetoric around the holiday season. I want to provide you with some strategies for managing distress and disordered eating during this holiday season:

  • Set boundaries: attending holiday gatherings can be quite triggering for individuals struggling with disordered eating. Allow yourself permission to enforce limitations about specific topics, such as commenting on your body/weight/what you are eating. Please refrain from making comments about someone else’s body; it is in poor taste and can quickly send someone into a shame spiral.
  • Practice grounding techniques: These techniques can help regulate your nervous system and comfort you during distress. Some examples of grounding techniques include deep breathing, scanning your surroundings, the 54321 exercise, and engaging your senses. For example, eating something sour or spicy, will draw your focus to that sensation rather than the anxiety.
  • Use neutral language when discussing food: as discussed in this post, many people ascribe moral value to food, naming it “good” or “bad.” I encourage you to get curious and ask why you are labelling food? What purpose is this serving? Often, ascribing moral value to food can lead to guilt and shame when we eat these “bad” foods. Therefore, try to use neutral language when talking about food, and kindly correct or redirect others when they use moral language.
  • Engage in self-care: We can all agree that the holidays can sometimes be exhausting. We are fulfilling so many obligations that it can be easy to neglect our own self-care practices. This holiday season, make a list of self-care activities to offer yourself self-kindness and self-compassion during this challenging time of year. Self-care can have many forms, such as physical, emotional, spiritual, intellectual, social, and relational. Remember, you deserve to make time for yourself because you cannot pour from an empty cup, my friend.

If putting yourself in a situation feels too triggering for you, you are under no obligation to attend the event. Sometimes, the best thing we can do for ourselves is disengage from a situation and protect our peace. I firmly believe that everyone should prioritize protecting their peace, regardless of the time of year. Recovery is an ongoing journey, one that is not a linear process. If any of this resonates with you, please reach out and explore these ideas with me. I’d love to help you through your healing journey and create a life you envision for yourself.

Self-love and self-kindness affirmations:

♥ All bodies are good bodies.
♥ My body deserves respect.
♥ I am more than my body.
♥ Life is too short to be unkind to yourself!
♥ I honour and nourish my body with food and kindness.

~Katelind

For more information on how to connect with Katelind,
Call 613-701-7574 or email us at info@ksrc.ca